Time

I recently realized that my sense of time is different from the "real" time. Meaning, I think it will take me a certain amount of time to do something, and it usually takes much (much) more. I know this on a basic level, but am frequently trying to push it - push it faster. A major component of my self work right now lies in giving myself permission to settle into my own rhythm. I am quite adept at helping others recognize, find and sink into their rhythmic sources, yet can still use a tune up in paying attention to my own. Relaxing into and accepting the fact that it takes me at minimum 20 minutes to shower, dress, get ready, instead of thinking I can do it in 8. Yes. Eight minutes. (Really? I giggle at myself... all the women out there I am sure are laughing with me, as we know that eight minutes basically gets you to the point of being nudely and rinsed - no hair, make-up, jewelry, clothes, shoes, teeth brushed, contacts, water, food for the day, purse, cell phone finding, etc...)

So, why do I write all this? I am committed to giving myself the time I need and deserve. Yes, I can do things quickly, but I do not want to do things quickly. I want to savor, relish, mmmm, ahhh,,, soak in, be satiated from head to toe and LOVE it. We rarely give ourselves this time and space. The Europeans get it. Us Americans? No.  "More is better, speed is good, no sleep, caffeine, go go go!!!!!!!!!!!!" Eeek. Please. I don't want this. That's why I ride my bike everywhere. It allows for the natural passing and progression of time. I peddle along at my own pace and have time to think, watch, and most importantly feel the ground that is under me and between me and my destination.

So, cheers to TIME. And to the abundance of it. Oh yes, there is a lot of time. How shall we soak it in?

Playtime

Sometimes the clarity comes OUT of the chaos. I have experienced this over the past few months: the burning away of old truths - that were true and good at the time, but are no longer applicable to where I am now; the breath of realization coming after drowning in the waters of doubt; the "hitting bottom" and realizing that I actually hit center...

And even as I write this, I know that I will spiral through this cycle again. And again. And again. So is life. We learn, and then learn the same pattern and story and solution again in a different way. Our struggles will not go away after "we get that job", after we "meet that man or woman", after we "lose 10, 20, 30 pounds". No. The struggles will always be there, but we can see them as blips in the radar rather than Mt. Everests. We can notice and note them, move through them as if they are normal occurrences, like going pee. :) Do we get angry that we have to go pee every hour or so? No. We just empty, then carry on with our day.

Or, another way to look at it is like a GAME. "Ohhhh!! What obstacle card did I pick THIS time? What am I going to do with that? Hmmm.... Maybe I'll put my cape on and FLY over it, or maybe this time I'll pretend I am a dragon and SCARE it, or maybe I'll just whip out my "shield of fantasticness" card and deflect it for a bit!" OH the options of FUN to be had. We are here to play. How we play the game and who we choose to be on our team determines how much fun we will have. Time outs are always allowed. And Do-overs are encouraged. You can also re-write the rules if you'd like. So, please, PLAY. 

Body Wisdom

Hello tummy growling in the middle of the night! What is it you are saying to me? Hunger? Physical, yes, and creative. I get up, in search of fulfillment. My heart is pounding, I am tired, and there is an ache in me. For more... for richness and creating.... perhaps had I paid attention to these signals during the day I would not be awake at this late hour.  Certainly, these signals were beating through my veins - the hunger, physically, yes, but also the creative desires, the need to fulfill my creative appetite. I am so good at not listening to that appetite. Aren't so many of us? And I do think it is a "not listening"; it is not that that voice is silent - oh it speaks - but we have turned our ears and hearts away from it. We have said no to its impracticality and unwillingness to "fit in" to any rhythm or mold. It is not to be scheduled - unless we open time for it to awaken.
This is my calling. To help others to hear this creative beat. To assist others in finding and regaining a sense of trust in their inate creative self. We all are Wise Creatives. Some times we just misplace the ears with which to "listen rightly".  Let's find our ears together.

Inspiration through Others

I work today on a commencement speech that I am honored to give coming up in a few weeks. This speech is for a class that has inspired and enriched my life deeply - in more ways than they may ever know or realize. This is a lesson for me in writing it - knowing how much they have positively affected me, and taking that experience, and applying it to myself - that I have inspired others and not known it or seen it or recognized it. And how did these bright human spirits inspire me the most? By being THEMSELVES. Authentically. Richly. By questioning, questing, striving, searching, and listening to their inner guides... they are wise young minds. But they are old souls. In teaching them, they taught me oh so much more... this is what I love most about teaching, what I get! In the best circumstances, it is the best "job" ever. What a magical blessing that I get to speak to them on this precipice from which they are about to soar...


"You have no idea how unimportant is all that the teacher says or does not say on the surface, and how important what he himself is as teacher." Rudolf Steiner, creator of Waldorf education said this... a fantastic reminder (for all of us  - for we are all students and teachers!)