Time

I recently realized that my sense of time is different from the "real" time. Meaning, I think it will take me a certain amount of time to do something, and it usually takes much (much) more. I know this on a basic level, but am frequently trying to push it - push it faster. A major component of my self work right now lies in giving myself permission to settle into my own rhythm. I am quite adept at helping others recognize, find and sink into their rhythmic sources, yet can still use a tune up in paying attention to my own. Relaxing into and accepting the fact that it takes me at minimum 20 minutes to shower, dress, get ready, instead of thinking I can do it in 8. Yes. Eight minutes. (Really? I giggle at myself... all the women out there I am sure are laughing with me, as we know that eight minutes basically gets you to the point of being nudely and rinsed - no hair, make-up, jewelry, clothes, shoes, teeth brushed, contacts, water, food for the day, purse, cell phone finding, etc...)

So, why do I write all this? I am committed to giving myself the time I need and deserve. Yes, I can do things quickly, but I do not want to do things quickly. I want to savor, relish, mmmm, ahhh,,, soak in, be satiated from head to toe and LOVE it. We rarely give ourselves this time and space. The Europeans get it. Us Americans? No.  "More is better, speed is good, no sleep, caffeine, go go go!!!!!!!!!!!!" Eeek. Please. I don't want this. That's why I ride my bike everywhere. It allows for the natural passing and progression of time. I peddle along at my own pace and have time to think, watch, and most importantly feel the ground that is under me and between me and my destination.

So, cheers to TIME. And to the abundance of it. Oh yes, there is a lot of time. How shall we soak it in?

Playtime

Sometimes the clarity comes OUT of the chaos. I have experienced this over the past few months: the burning away of old truths - that were true and good at the time, but are no longer applicable to where I am now; the breath of realization coming after drowning in the waters of doubt; the "hitting bottom" and realizing that I actually hit center...

And even as I write this, I know that I will spiral through this cycle again. And again. And again. So is life. We learn, and then learn the same pattern and story and solution again in a different way. Our struggles will not go away after "we get that job", after we "meet that man or woman", after we "lose 10, 20, 30 pounds". No. The struggles will always be there, but we can see them as blips in the radar rather than Mt. Everests. We can notice and note them, move through them as if they are normal occurrences, like going pee. :) Do we get angry that we have to go pee every hour or so? No. We just empty, then carry on with our day.

Or, another way to look at it is like a GAME. "Ohhhh!! What obstacle card did I pick THIS time? What am I going to do with that? Hmmm.... Maybe I'll put my cape on and FLY over it, or maybe this time I'll pretend I am a dragon and SCARE it, or maybe I'll just whip out my "shield of fantasticness" card and deflect it for a bit!" OH the options of FUN to be had. We are here to play. How we play the game and who we choose to be on our team determines how much fun we will have. Time outs are always allowed. And Do-overs are encouraged. You can also re-write the rules if you'd like. So, please, PLAY.